I am mkrs, female, 22 years old, diagnosed with Depression just last December 2009 taking Lexapro.
A LITTLE BACKGROUND:
I looked back and figured that I was still around 10 years old when the
first signs and symptoms of depression have started, but it wasn't
until last year when I finally got help.
My weight, which is the one of the causes of my depression, has always
been an issue in my family. Almost always, they constantly make fun of
me. I avoided any social event: reunions, gatherings, and even just
eating in front of anyone. I always (and I still do) eat alone in my
I have grown to be a pessimist with low self-esteem and zero
confidence. Although I am good at putting on a mask for everyone,
inside, I am broken and lost. I am afraid of commitment, afraid of
people, afraid of criticisms, and afraid of the real world.
I thought all this was normal, but eventually I found out I was the
only one like this. I started to cope on my own, and began with the
goal of an 80 lb weight loss. I lost about 40 lbs., and already it felt
Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy still-overweight-but-now-slimmer
body because I got diagnosed with Pott's Disease, Tuberculosis of the
I was bedridden for 2 months. I had to stay flat in bed with no
bathroom privileges (bedpan anyone?) I had to wear a very heavy and a
very hard body brace 24/7 for the next 9 months and I had to take
anti-Tuberculosis medications for a year.
My treatment ended March of 2009, and I started rehabilitation.
Fortunately, I can still walk, but I will forever have experience back
pain due to a collapsed spine.
Although I know I should be grateful, but my mood started to go
downhill. I re-gained back (and more) all the weight that I lost. My memory
became dull, and my confidence was shattered (imagine wearing a body brace
everywhere you go) Basically, I was in a
After my treatment, my parents wanted me to study Medicine. So after my
treatment, I immediately enrolled in school. I must tell you, Medicine
is not for everyone, especially if your heart is not into it. The 6
months I spent in there triggered a lot more symptoms, so last
December, I finally decided to drop out and seek professional help.
Right now, I am still finding my way to the right path. I really hope I
find it soon, as being attacked by the Beast is not really a